Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Scion Rock Fest Saves Florida Tourism Industry

TAMPA - The free Scion Rock Fest will be held in early June in Tampa and Florida government officials are already crediting the doom-centric music extravaganza to single-handedly saving the Florida Tourism Bureau from bankruptcy. The prospect of seeing bands like Down, Sleep, Saint Vitus, and more has fans flooding into the state and dropping money at local hotels, restaurants, and more.
"Disney World my dick," said one unnamed official. "None of those Disney bucks are flooding into the state coffers. I never heard of 'Sleep's Holy Mountain' until two days ago but it is now my favorite album. Stereotypes be damned, these metal fans have cash."
Fans are excited as well though many are still confused as to what Scion AV, the event's sponsor, actually does and promotes.
"I guess it something to do with Toyota but the free music is all I care about," said Greg Bradley who plans to travel to Tampa from nearby Atlanta for the show. "I don't know who came up with the marketing plan, but they are a genius."
Sensing a flood of potential swing-state voters piling into the concert, even former Massachusetts governor and Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney is planning to a trip to the concert telling members of the press that he is a 'lifelong fan of the heavy metal' citing one time when he was tempted to sip a beer after hearing Black Sabbath from a neighboring wall during a college mixer.

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