Editorial

Defending The Playlist II

I have never done Speed Dating, but I would imagine if I did, I'd play the iPod game where I would have the broad put her iPod on random and see what the first ten songs are. I would have a few deal breakers. I would imagine Abba would be one of them. 'Brown Eyed Girl' would be another. A little hint for every idiot that thinks it is 'their song.' It ain't.
Anyway, this little exercise is a monthly feature as you, the loyal Heavy Metal Comedy reader, can take a glimpse into my iPod and see what I got on there, metal and otherwise. The last one didn't work out well at all. Here's hoping for some redemption (actually 'Redemption' by Shadows Fall would be nice). C'mon Megadeth....

1. 'Blue' by A Perfect Circle - These guys came up last time. I still don't know why I have them on my iPod. I guess Maynard James Keenan's voice can make up for anything... except Puscifer. This song's okay. One of the better songs on 'Thirteenth Step.'
2. 'This Lullaby' by Queens of the Stone Age - Any faithful reader already knows about the boner I have for Mark Lanegan. He sings on this. It's a minute-long filler song, but hey, it's Mark Lanegan. Oh, and Queens of the Stone Age are awesome.
3. 'Lazy Gun' by Jet -  Hey iPod, you know I write a metal site, right? Give me a metal song. Is Jet still alive? Or did they go home and OD on 'Who Made Who' and come back as Airbourne?
4. 'Some Kinda Love' by The Velvet Underground - Jesus fuck iPod, give me a metal song. Or at least a good song. Another filler song. If you listen to one Velvet Underground song, make it 'Sister Ray.' Or 'Pale Blue Eyes.' Or 'Oh Sweet Nuthin.' And don't rent 'Factory Girl'. Horrible.
5. 'Secret Loser' by Ozzy Osbourne - Loser! I'm a secret loser! 'The Ultimate Sin' is an underrated album. I know you kids think of Ozzy as the old guy from that TV show or the guy who reads the teleprompter at the end of Ozzfest, but I'm over 30. He's awesome. He can mumble all he wants, the man sang 'Megalomania.' 'Sabotage', another underrated album. Seriously, 'Hole in the Sky', 'Symptom of the Universe', 'Megalomania' and 'The Writ' all on one album.
6. 'Dial 595-Escape' by In Flames - I know some of the old school In Flames fans feel they went soft but I still like them. I'm not a huge death metal guy so I don't mind them taking it down a notch. Still, they did cover 'People are People' early on, so I guess they were soft before they went soft. I didn't discover them until 'Bullet Ride' anyway. I'm looking forward to the new album and seeing them at Gigantour at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival.
7. 'Nippon' by Lamb of God - The Japanese bonus track from 'New American Gospel'. Thanks Interweb (I can not confirm nor deny this track was acquired via a BitTorrent site). My ribs hurt from listening to this song. Not as much as hearing Chimaira live. I think I lost a molar when they played 'Pure Hatred.' That's a lot of bass. 
8. 'The Wild Rover' by Dropkick Murphys - I'm a drunk and I live in Boston. Cut me some slack. Remember when these guys were good and not the official soundtrack of the Red Sox bandwagon? You're right. Fuck me. 
9. 'Fix' by Static-X - The band that saved Ozzfest '07. As a comic I sometimes have to follow really bad comics that kill the audience (hell, sometimes I'm that comic), and I have to spend the first half of my set digging out of that hole. Static-X did just that following Lordi at Ozzfest. Lordi vs. Crazy Town for worst mainstage band in Ozzfest history. Discuss. I'm going to blare me some Static-X. 
10. 'Celebration Day' by Led Zeppelin - Does anybody not own a Led Zeppelin album?  

Not great, but not embarrassing. A playlist that shows my age (I'm 31). I'm gonna name this playlist: 31 is the new 30.